Mommy MusingsThe Value of Time and Focus on Family and Community
As any gardener will tell you, the garden needs a few things, but those things are crucial for a healthy garden. You need sun, water, nourishing soil, a bit of TLC to keep the weeds away and lots of hope that the garden will grow, flourish and yield the tender crop or flower you so hope for.
Tending to a family is very much like tending a garden. There is a lot of preparation of environment, there’s a lot of time investment and there’s a ton of HOPE that it will all turn out right. Whatever your home life situation is, there is a lot on the shoulders of the parents, or caregivers. I see some amazing ‘families’ that don’t fit the conventional mold, but are thriving, because they WANT it to. They are committed to the long term nurturing that is needed.
Parenting is different for every single person. Everyone has their own thresholds for it, some are making up for the past and some are just living and doing what they know. We are definitely on our own journeys. Each innately unique to us.
And with that…I give you all permission to parent the way YOU want to. What feels good to you is very important. Don’t ever feel inferior or less than because you may not have the means in which to provide all the bells and whistles. Compassion, love and tending to the family is as rich as any gold on the planet. Being present in your child’s life is valuable. Tending to the emotional needs of your kids will pay in dividends. Yes, we all have things we wish we could do over or provide. But regret eats away at our core….pushing forward to brighter points of view will always make your flowers (kids) grow to be strong and healthy. When we as caregivers and parents are healthy, so are the kids.
We never know what is in store in our lives. Preparation for a worst case scenario isn’t always a bad thing, but it can’t be the entire focus, there needs to be balance. Parents of special needs children need our support. If you have a family you know of with a child that has struggles, be sure to help them if you can. Offer them support in what feels good to you…sometimes just knowing you are there can be a huge support. Do you know of a single parent that is hurting? Try and offer up some meals, or just babysitting every once in a while. This does wonders for a struggling parent. I think it really comes down to viewing our gardens as a part of a GINORMOUS garden. All of us contribute in some way to the raising of all kids at some point. Don’t you think?
So, as you have your seasons of parenthood, be sure to take time to smell the roses of your hard work. Enjoy your kids, talk to them and ask them about their gardens….are they tended to, are they thriving?
If not, then take a moment to see what they need and focus on it in a compassionate way. It’s worth it, don’t you think?
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